Bella and Leah move back to Forks after an unexpected event. Leah has not spoken a word since the event and when she befriends the green eyes little boy next door, Bella soon discovers that his father may be the key to curing Leah's illness.
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Wednesday 10 November 2010
Friday 15 October 2010
chapter one
Chapter one: Moving On
"Rose, I have to move. I can't stay here forever," I explain for the hundredth time.
"You know I love having you here and I love Leah. You can stay here as long as you want," She moans. "Besides, Forks is too far away."
I sigh and watch Rose brush her manicured nails through my daughter's hair.
Rosalie Hale is one of my best friends. I met her when I moved to Phoenix to attend college. I moved to Phoenix with my boyfriend, Jake, so that we could both attend the same college. I had been accepted to Dartmouth, but not only could I not afford that type of college, but Jake could not go there; we both agreed that Phoenix was the best place for both of us. On my first day, I was running late for my class when I bumped into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, spilling my coffee all over her. She looked at me with her huge baby blue eyes and started to laugh. Then she told me that I was paying for her dry-cleaning, flipped her blonde hair, waving it around her shoulder and asked if I wanted grab another cup of coffee with her. I was already late for class and really didn't want the attention I would get if I walked into the class late, so I went with her. She has been my best friend every since. I don't know what I would have done without Rose the past few years; she has helped in more ways than I can mention, but I need to stand on my own two feet now. I need a fresh start, not just for me but also for my daughter.
"You can always come with us Rose," I offer.
"God, I want to Bella, but I can't just get up and leave right now. I have my job, my family and Royce to think about."
I can see the sadness in her eyes. I know she would not leave the life she's created for herself here in Phoenix. Rose spent the last four years building Jacob's garage and car shop. I thought I would never be able to sell Jacob's businesses. I thought there would be no one who would love and cherish the garage and shop as much as Jake had. But Rose does, and she knows what the garage meant to me, so I was more than happy to give it to her when she asked if she could buy it. I knew that she would take care of it and make it into the business that Jacob wanted, and she has.
It also makes me feel like Jacob was alive still. I drive past it or go in now and again and I swear I can still feel him there. I expect to see his big, muscled legs dangle from underneath a car or hear him singing softly to the radio. He's never there anymore, at least, not physically. But the comfort of his presence is still around whether it in the color of the walls or the tools in the boxes. Jake's spirit still lives in that garage just like his soul lives in our daughter.
"Well you can visit anytime you want and we will come and see you every chance we get." I answer.
"You better, Bella," she warns me by pointing her finger at me.
"I'm going to miss you so much, and you too sweetheart, who I am going to play with now," she whispers to my daughter.
I watch Leah turn around and hug Rose tightly. Knowing I am separating them is breaking my heart, but I have to do it. I have move home for the sake for my daughter, take her away from all the bad memories that have been created here. I hope with all my heart that I'm doing the right thing, I hope that by moving close to my father and Emmett that Leah will be able to heal.
It has been 6 months, 6 long months since I last heard my daughter's voice. I have not heard a single word or giggle or any noise escape her beautiful mouth, and I am scared that if I don't do something soon, I will never hear her voice again.
Before Leah's voice disappeared, she was an advanced speaker for her age. I loved spending time listening to her talk about her day, the things she loves, the things she hates. We would have conversations that lasted for hours which is rare for a little girl her age. She was also an advanced reader for her age. She still is, only she never reads aloud anymore. She keeps all her stories to herself - both real life and fantasy stories - and I'm worried that all those stories would explored inside and I would lose her forever.
Since then, Leah does everything in silence; I have grown attached to her facial expression and body language. I am now also an excerpt in lip reading; this is the only way that I can understand what she wants to say. It's the only way that I can keep the communication line open with my daughter.
Leah has always loved going to Forks. She has all her family there and I believe that this is what she needs right now. She needs the love and encourage from the people who love her most, people to help her put all the pain that she has inside and what she has witnessed behind her and begin to heal. I know that by staying here, she will not get any better, my love and even Rose's love is not enough anymore. She needs somewhere she feels safe, somewhere that she can feel comfortable and blossom into the amazing little girl I know she is.
"Bella, do you want to go out for lunch before you leave?" Rose asks me.
"Sure, you pick."
"Where do you want to go sweetheart?" she asks Leah.
I'm so lost in my thoughts that I had not noticed that Rose braided Leah's thick mahogany hair into a French plait. it is something I can't do to her hair, so I'm happy that Rose did before we go on the plane.
Leah turns to face Rose and mouths something to her. I can only see her back so I don't know what she wants.
"Alright then, let's get ready and go," Rose announces, moving her silky blonde hair over her shoulder and straightening her shoulders. She has a determined look in her eyes, and I know that this is Rose with her wall built, wrapping around her to prevent her from falling apart. I know this wall, I already have mine up and sealed.
"Where are we going than honey?" I ask.
"Pizza," Leah mouths to me, she then smiles at me but the smile does not reach her eyes. Those smiles do not exist anymore and it breaks my heart to see the pain in her eyes everyday; I feel so helpless. I don't know how take the pain away from her; I have taken her to therapy, moved out of our house and into Rose's house. I tried talking to her, show her that she's okay and that she is safe, but I know she does not feel safe anymore and nothing I have tried has worked.
So moving to Forks is my last hope.
I want to create new memories and a new life for her, and I want my baby girl back.
I'm brought out of my thoughts by my cell phone ringing. I smile at Leah and grab my phone.
"Hi Handsome," I purr. Leah quickly jumps into my lap listening to the man she knows is on the phone.
"Hi sweet cheeks, you ready to home to me?" His voice is deep and soft but also filled with amusement.
I laugh. "Home to you eh? yeah we're all packed and ready Em."
"Great, I can't wait; I have found the perfect house for my girls, its right nearby my co-worker's house so you'll have a cop next door if you need him. He's great Bells, he has the cutest little boy ever, so Leah will have someone to play with and I'm only ten minutes down the road and God Bella I'm so excited," he rambles. I can't believe he managed to say all that in one breath I'm about to answer him when he starts again.
"Oh, we can take Leah to La Push beach or go to the zoo, we can even take ants with us, he loves the zoo and …"
"Emmett will you stop." I bark at him.
He finally stops talking and I am surrounded by silence. I can see Leah holding her hand over her mouth silently giggling, which then made me giggle. "First, tell me about the house, where is it?"
Emmett continues to explain about the new house that he has arranged for me and Leah to move into. We needed somewhere that was ready to move into straight away or that was close to being ready. I didn't want to stay with my father for to long and I wanted to get Leah settled into her new home before she goes back to school in a few weeks. I also want to be a settled before I start my new job.
I finally get off the phone and we make our way into the restaurant. I spend my day with Rose and Leah bonding over pizza and coke. It is the perfect last day in Phoenix, we even manage to take Leah to her favorite park before we have to leave.
A few hours later, we have a very tearful goodbye to my best friend and the town that I have called home for the last six and half years. This is the place where my boyfriend was murdered, the place where I gave birth to my baby girl, the place that held some of the best moments of life. But it is also the place that stole Jake from her and broke my daughter physically and emotionally. I am going to miss Phoenix but I am excited to go home, my real home.
Once we land in Seattle, I carry a very tired and grumpy five year old off the plane and around the airport. I collect the luggage that I took with me – the rest were being send over in the next couple of days – and drag them behind me.
I look around for Emmett as he is picking up today but I can't see him. I look at Leah and notice that she fell asleep. Her hair looks darker and it is draped over her face, covering her like a blanket. She has same color hair as mine, it is thick and glossy but it is naturally straight like her father's. I pull her closer to me, smelling her hair. She smells like strawberries and it is my favorite smell in the world. She looks so much like Jake when she is asleep. I miss him everyday and I wish that he were here to see how beautiful our daughter is. He would have been able to protect like I couldn't. I failed him. I failed her.
"Bella! Bella!" I turn my head to follow Emmett's booming voice.
"Beellllaaa," he continues to yell just as I see his curly dark brown and dimples at each end of a wide toothy smile. I feel a smile appear on my face as I rush over to my childhood friend.
"So happy you're here Bells," he pulls me into a bone crushing bear hug, kisses my forehead and then Leah's head. I can see the love and happiness in his eyes as he stares at me.
"Me too Em."
"Let me grab those," he goes to grab my suitcase but Leah attached to my hip is heavier than the luggage.
"Em, do you think you can carry Leah instead, she's getting really big."
"Sure, guess she takes after her dad eh?" he laughs.
Emmett is not only my best friend but he was Jake's too. I met Emmett on my first day at Forks Elementary school. He ran up to me, gave me a cupcake and asked if I wanted to sit next to him. He soon became my best friend and we would hang out everyday.
Jake was a couple of years younger than us but he would still come up to mine with his dad and hung out with us. For the next ten years we did everything together.
When things changed between me and Jake I was worried that it would affect our friendship with Emmett, but he was happy and supportive of our relationship. He never took anyone's side when we had an argument, claiming that he was Switzerland. He never interfered with anything in regards to our relationship, just when it was involved with friendship between the three of us.
When Jake died, Emmett was my rock. He stayed with me for the first couple of months, he took care of all the arrangements, he was even there with me when Leah was born in place of Jake whispering of how proud he was and how much he loved us. Emmett understood me better than anyone else what I had lost with Jake, he had lost his best friend too and I'm grateful that our friendship has become stronger because it.
I just nod my head at him and sigh happily with my shoulder now free again. We make our way out of the airport, pushing through the crowds and towards Emmett's car.
"The police cruiser?" I question him, raising an eyebrow.
"What? I am a police officer Bells."
I just roll my eyes at him and put the luggage in to the boot while Emmett puts Leah into the car seat. I climb into the passengers' seat, put my seat belt on and roll down the window inhaling the damp, moist smell of Forks. My whole body finally relaxes. I am home.
"Hey Em, do you think you can show the house so I can take a look around." I ask.
I really want to see where we will be living and what the house looks like.
"Sure."
We fall into a comfortable silence all the way to Forks. The rain is lightly patting the roof of the car. It is amazing how the rain brought me comfort especially since I have spent the last few years in a city where the sun is like a second arm to me. I think about all the things I need to do over the next few days. My dad enrolled Leah in the local school so that is one less thing to tick off my list. But I needed to meet with Mrs. Cullen, the principal of Forks High School; I have to see what my studio is like and what I need for my classes when they begin. I also need to go shopping; Leah needs clothes that are suitable for the weather here, most of the clothes she owns are summer clothes so I'll give them to the local charity although I know that they would be useless with Fork's weather. Leah also has her first therapy session next week, but I want to talk to Ms Stanley before she meets Leah. Rose suggested that maybe I should see a therapist as well, that way I can be maybe understand what she has been through and how to help her emotionally without hurting myself in the process.
"Here we are honey," I look at the house Emmett just stopped in front of. It's big. it's really big. It has a long path in the middle of the front garden that leads to the front door. The garden is beautiful, decorated with a few small bushes following the path. There are even a few small trees in front of the house as well as large bushes around one side of the house that blocks out the house next door. I cannot describe the beauty of the outside of this house; I never believed in a million years that I could live somewhere like this .
Emmett must have noticed my excitement as he opens the door – with a huge grin on his face – and shakes the keys at me.
"You coming in?" he asks. I look behind the chair and notice that Leah is sitting in her seat, her small hands on the windows and her face squished against the screen. I can only see the back of her head.
"Leah, do you want to go in and see our new home?"
She nods her head and I notice that she's running her tongue up and down the window. I want to tell her to stop, watching in disgust as Emmett moves to the window and starts running his tongue on the outside of the window, copying what Leah's doing.
I finally get too grossed out and get out of the car, walking around to where Emmett is still bent at the window.
"You two are gross." I steal the keys from his giant hands and make my way to the front door.
When I walk into the hall, I stop. The hall is wide, light and very bright. The walls are painted in a creamy beige color that blends with the light oak pine doors. There are two doors in front of me and when I turn around there is one extra door in the far corner and a set of stairs next to the door. Wow is the word that echoes in my mind.
"Are you going to look around or just stand there with your mouth open?" Emmett appears with Leah wriggling in his arms.
"Wow, Emmett it looks amazing! I don't remember this house being here before."
"They knocked down the old houses here a couple of years ago and built new ones." He puts Leah down and she runs straight through the door in front. I follow her while still listening to Emmett. "Most people who live here don't want to leave the houses they already have and the rest just can't afford it, so it was easy to buy."
I walk through the living room which is big and cozy but not as big as I thought it would be, the walls are the same color as the hall and I can envision the stuff that I have in this room. My eyes zoom in to two sets of bookcases that are built between the main window and the fireplace. This house is perfect for us. I never imagined it to be anything like this.
"This is a new house." I still can't believe it, there is no way that I can own a brand new house.
"Yep, like I said a it was easy, I managed to get it for less than what you gave me, so you have plenty of money left over to decorate it and make it the best home ever for Leah and yourself." I just nod, trying to take all the information in.
He leaves and takes Leah outside, talking about where he wants to put the princess castle he is buying for her. I continue walking through the rooms in the house, deciding not to even attempt to stop Emmett from buying her that castle; he'll just do it anyway.
The kitchen is breathtaking, it's long and splits into two areas, one area was a dining area at the far end of the room and the main kitchen at the top end. I fall in love with it straight away, with the dark cherry oak cupboard and marble counters. There's even a little island in the middle of the room, so that I can still watch the dining area while I cook.
I move from room and room imaging us living in this house. I have a good feeling about this house and I believe once again that I'm making the right decision. Once I make it back to the living room, I notice Emmett measuring the blank wall across from the fireplace.
"What are you doing" I asked him.
"Measuring for your TV Bella, every house needs a wide screen honey, Leah will love it."
"You mean you want a wide screen so you can watch the sports whenever you're here," I giggle, knowing how his mind works.
"Well I will be here a lot Bells," I just nod my head at him.
"How much was the house Em?"
"Sixty percent less than what you gave me."
"Sixty percent? Emmett how did you manage that?" I ask, but he continues measuring my wall, ignoring my question. I know there's something he is keeping from me, but I keep quiet and decided to ask again later.
I decide to go and see the back garden knowing that's where Leah is.
The rain had stopped but it's still dark and cloudy outside. The air is fresh with a damp chilly wind blowing around. I stop at the door and look around the garden. I find myself really excited about my future and our new lives here. I feel like I have something to look forward to; something major is going to happen soon. I don't know what it is but I know that it is something that will change my life forever.
I look at Leah sitting on the grass. She's looking through the small wooden fence, nodding her head at something. I walk closer to her and spot a little boy on the opposite side of the fence. He's also sitting on the grass with his feet tucked under his legs, mirroring Leah's position.
"Hey, who's your new friend pumpkin?" I ask Leah as I look at the little boy. He's the cutest little boy I have ever seen with his unique copper hair sticking up on his head. When he looks up, I find the biggest green sparking eyes staring back at me.
"Hello." I smile at him, watching his eyes dance with excitement.
"Hi, I'm Anthony." he replies in a sweet polite voice. He stands up, wipes his hands on his dark jeans and offers his small hand to me.
"Hi, Anthony, I'm Bella." I'm in awe at the manners that he has; I shake his hand through the gap in the fence.
"Are you Leah's mommy?" he asks.
"Yes I am, do you live here?"
I look at Leah and she's smiling at me and for the first time in six months I see her eyes sparkling with excitement. I look back at the little boy and his eyes match my daughter's.
"Yep, I have a pirates ship, look?" he points to wooden ship that was in his garden.
"Can Leah play in with me?" he smiles a wide crooked smile at me and my heart melts. I want to grab him, take him with us and pass him off as one of my own. Instead I smile at him and look again at my daughter. She stands up beside me and starts jumping up and down nodding her head, telling me she wants to play with the boy. I notice that her trousers are wet from sitting on the grass and I'm thankful that I have a spare pair in the car. Anthony starts copying Leah and soon they're both jumping up and down, with their hands in the air doing a fancy little dance. I giggle at them; they are too cute for words.
I'm just about to answer Anthony's question when a female's voice calls him. He suddenly stops jumping the same time as Leah and starts running towards the door leading into his house, but stops half way.
"Nice to meet you Bella." He smiled my new favorite smile. "See you tomorrow Leah." he gives us a wave and runs inside the house next door.
I sigh and stare at the now empty garden. "Let's go to Grandpa's now honey, you hunger?" I ask. Leah just nods and runs to the back door.
I slowly follow her back through the house towards Emmett's car; my thoughts are filled with the copper haired little boy and the sparkle in his eyes. How the excitement in his eyes matched Leah's …
How did he know Leah's name? He's too young to read lips.
Then I remember that Emmett mentioned that he works with the neighbor next door. Maybe he had mentioned us to him. I will have to ask him later.
I buckle my seat belt while Emmett buckled Leah up, and look back at my new house.
We're going to okay. I made the right decision. I know in my heart that not only is my daughter going to be happy here, but I am too. I can't stop the wide smile that appears on my face.
"Ready Bells?"
"Absolutely."
"Rose, I have to move. I can't stay here forever," I explain for the hundredth time.
"You know I love having you here and I love Leah. You can stay here as long as you want," She moans. "Besides, Forks is too far away."
I sigh and watch Rose brush her manicured nails through my daughter's hair.
Rosalie Hale is one of my best friends. I met her when I moved to Phoenix to attend college. I moved to Phoenix with my boyfriend, Jake, so that we could both attend the same college. I had been accepted to Dartmouth, but not only could I not afford that type of college, but Jake could not go there; we both agreed that Phoenix was the best place for both of us. On my first day, I was running late for my class when I bumped into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, spilling my coffee all over her. She looked at me with her huge baby blue eyes and started to laugh. Then she told me that I was paying for her dry-cleaning, flipped her blonde hair, waving it around her shoulder and asked if I wanted grab another cup of coffee with her. I was already late for class and really didn't want the attention I would get if I walked into the class late, so I went with her. She has been my best friend every since. I don't know what I would have done without Rose the past few years; she has helped in more ways than I can mention, but I need to stand on my own two feet now. I need a fresh start, not just for me but also for my daughter.
"You can always come with us Rose," I offer.
"God, I want to Bella, but I can't just get up and leave right now. I have my job, my family and Royce to think about."
I can see the sadness in her eyes. I know she would not leave the life she's created for herself here in Phoenix. Rose spent the last four years building Jacob's garage and car shop. I thought I would never be able to sell Jacob's businesses. I thought there would be no one who would love and cherish the garage and shop as much as Jake had. But Rose does, and she knows what the garage meant to me, so I was more than happy to give it to her when she asked if she could buy it. I knew that she would take care of it and make it into the business that Jacob wanted, and she has.
It also makes me feel like Jacob was alive still. I drive past it or go in now and again and I swear I can still feel him there. I expect to see his big, muscled legs dangle from underneath a car or hear him singing softly to the radio. He's never there anymore, at least, not physically. But the comfort of his presence is still around whether it in the color of the walls or the tools in the boxes. Jake's spirit still lives in that garage just like his soul lives in our daughter.
"Well you can visit anytime you want and we will come and see you every chance we get." I answer.
"You better, Bella," she warns me by pointing her finger at me.
"I'm going to miss you so much, and you too sweetheart, who I am going to play with now," she whispers to my daughter.
I watch Leah turn around and hug Rose tightly. Knowing I am separating them is breaking my heart, but I have to do it. I have move home for the sake for my daughter, take her away from all the bad memories that have been created here. I hope with all my heart that I'm doing the right thing, I hope that by moving close to my father and Emmett that Leah will be able to heal.
It has been 6 months, 6 long months since I last heard my daughter's voice. I have not heard a single word or giggle or any noise escape her beautiful mouth, and I am scared that if I don't do something soon, I will never hear her voice again.
Before Leah's voice disappeared, she was an advanced speaker for her age. I loved spending time listening to her talk about her day, the things she loves, the things she hates. We would have conversations that lasted for hours which is rare for a little girl her age. She was also an advanced reader for her age. She still is, only she never reads aloud anymore. She keeps all her stories to herself - both real life and fantasy stories - and I'm worried that all those stories would explored inside and I would lose her forever.
Since then, Leah does everything in silence; I have grown attached to her facial expression and body language. I am now also an excerpt in lip reading; this is the only way that I can understand what she wants to say. It's the only way that I can keep the communication line open with my daughter.
Leah has always loved going to Forks. She has all her family there and I believe that this is what she needs right now. She needs the love and encourage from the people who love her most, people to help her put all the pain that she has inside and what she has witnessed behind her and begin to heal. I know that by staying here, she will not get any better, my love and even Rose's love is not enough anymore. She needs somewhere she feels safe, somewhere that she can feel comfortable and blossom into the amazing little girl I know she is.
"Bella, do you want to go out for lunch before you leave?" Rose asks me.
"Sure, you pick."
"Where do you want to go sweetheart?" she asks Leah.
I'm so lost in my thoughts that I had not noticed that Rose braided Leah's thick mahogany hair into a French plait. it is something I can't do to her hair, so I'm happy that Rose did before we go on the plane.
Leah turns to face Rose and mouths something to her. I can only see her back so I don't know what she wants.
"Alright then, let's get ready and go," Rose announces, moving her silky blonde hair over her shoulder and straightening her shoulders. She has a determined look in her eyes, and I know that this is Rose with her wall built, wrapping around her to prevent her from falling apart. I know this wall, I already have mine up and sealed.
"Where are we going than honey?" I ask.
"Pizza," Leah mouths to me, she then smiles at me but the smile does not reach her eyes. Those smiles do not exist anymore and it breaks my heart to see the pain in her eyes everyday; I feel so helpless. I don't know how take the pain away from her; I have taken her to therapy, moved out of our house and into Rose's house. I tried talking to her, show her that she's okay and that she is safe, but I know she does not feel safe anymore and nothing I have tried has worked.
So moving to Forks is my last hope.
I want to create new memories and a new life for her, and I want my baby girl back.
I'm brought out of my thoughts by my cell phone ringing. I smile at Leah and grab my phone.
"Hi Handsome," I purr. Leah quickly jumps into my lap listening to the man she knows is on the phone.
"Hi sweet cheeks, you ready to home to me?" His voice is deep and soft but also filled with amusement.
I laugh. "Home to you eh? yeah we're all packed and ready Em."
"Great, I can't wait; I have found the perfect house for my girls, its right nearby my co-worker's house so you'll have a cop next door if you need him. He's great Bells, he has the cutest little boy ever, so Leah will have someone to play with and I'm only ten minutes down the road and God Bella I'm so excited," he rambles. I can't believe he managed to say all that in one breath I'm about to answer him when he starts again.
"Oh, we can take Leah to La Push beach or go to the zoo, we can even take ants with us, he loves the zoo and …"
"Emmett will you stop." I bark at him.
He finally stops talking and I am surrounded by silence. I can see Leah holding her hand over her mouth silently giggling, which then made me giggle. "First, tell me about the house, where is it?"
Emmett continues to explain about the new house that he has arranged for me and Leah to move into. We needed somewhere that was ready to move into straight away or that was close to being ready. I didn't want to stay with my father for to long and I wanted to get Leah settled into her new home before she goes back to school in a few weeks. I also want to be a settled before I start my new job.
I finally get off the phone and we make our way into the restaurant. I spend my day with Rose and Leah bonding over pizza and coke. It is the perfect last day in Phoenix, we even manage to take Leah to her favorite park before we have to leave.
A few hours later, we have a very tearful goodbye to my best friend and the town that I have called home for the last six and half years. This is the place where my boyfriend was murdered, the place where I gave birth to my baby girl, the place that held some of the best moments of life. But it is also the place that stole Jake from her and broke my daughter physically and emotionally. I am going to miss Phoenix but I am excited to go home, my real home.
Once we land in Seattle, I carry a very tired and grumpy five year old off the plane and around the airport. I collect the luggage that I took with me – the rest were being send over in the next couple of days – and drag them behind me.
I look around for Emmett as he is picking up today but I can't see him. I look at Leah and notice that she fell asleep. Her hair looks darker and it is draped over her face, covering her like a blanket. She has same color hair as mine, it is thick and glossy but it is naturally straight like her father's. I pull her closer to me, smelling her hair. She smells like strawberries and it is my favorite smell in the world. She looks so much like Jake when she is asleep. I miss him everyday and I wish that he were here to see how beautiful our daughter is. He would have been able to protect like I couldn't. I failed him. I failed her.
"Bella! Bella!" I turn my head to follow Emmett's booming voice.
"Beellllaaa," he continues to yell just as I see his curly dark brown and dimples at each end of a wide toothy smile. I feel a smile appear on my face as I rush over to my childhood friend.
"So happy you're here Bells," he pulls me into a bone crushing bear hug, kisses my forehead and then Leah's head. I can see the love and happiness in his eyes as he stares at me.
"Me too Em."
"Let me grab those," he goes to grab my suitcase but Leah attached to my hip is heavier than the luggage.
"Em, do you think you can carry Leah instead, she's getting really big."
"Sure, guess she takes after her dad eh?" he laughs.
Emmett is not only my best friend but he was Jake's too. I met Emmett on my first day at Forks Elementary school. He ran up to me, gave me a cupcake and asked if I wanted to sit next to him. He soon became my best friend and we would hang out everyday.
Jake was a couple of years younger than us but he would still come up to mine with his dad and hung out with us. For the next ten years we did everything together.
When things changed between me and Jake I was worried that it would affect our friendship with Emmett, but he was happy and supportive of our relationship. He never took anyone's side when we had an argument, claiming that he was Switzerland. He never interfered with anything in regards to our relationship, just when it was involved with friendship between the three of us.
When Jake died, Emmett was my rock. He stayed with me for the first couple of months, he took care of all the arrangements, he was even there with me when Leah was born in place of Jake whispering of how proud he was and how much he loved us. Emmett understood me better than anyone else what I had lost with Jake, he had lost his best friend too and I'm grateful that our friendship has become stronger because it.
I just nod my head at him and sigh happily with my shoulder now free again. We make our way out of the airport, pushing through the crowds and towards Emmett's car.
"The police cruiser?" I question him, raising an eyebrow.
"What? I am a police officer Bells."
I just roll my eyes at him and put the luggage in to the boot while Emmett puts Leah into the car seat. I climb into the passengers' seat, put my seat belt on and roll down the window inhaling the damp, moist smell of Forks. My whole body finally relaxes. I am home.
"Hey Em, do you think you can show the house so I can take a look around." I ask.
I really want to see where we will be living and what the house looks like.
"Sure."
We fall into a comfortable silence all the way to Forks. The rain is lightly patting the roof of the car. It is amazing how the rain brought me comfort especially since I have spent the last few years in a city where the sun is like a second arm to me. I think about all the things I need to do over the next few days. My dad enrolled Leah in the local school so that is one less thing to tick off my list. But I needed to meet with Mrs. Cullen, the principal of Forks High School; I have to see what my studio is like and what I need for my classes when they begin. I also need to go shopping; Leah needs clothes that are suitable for the weather here, most of the clothes she owns are summer clothes so I'll give them to the local charity although I know that they would be useless with Fork's weather. Leah also has her first therapy session next week, but I want to talk to Ms Stanley before she meets Leah. Rose suggested that maybe I should see a therapist as well, that way I can be maybe understand what she has been through and how to help her emotionally without hurting myself in the process.
"Here we are honey," I look at the house Emmett just stopped in front of. It's big. it's really big. It has a long path in the middle of the front garden that leads to the front door. The garden is beautiful, decorated with a few small bushes following the path. There are even a few small trees in front of the house as well as large bushes around one side of the house that blocks out the house next door. I cannot describe the beauty of the outside of this house; I never believed in a million years that I could live somewhere like this .
Emmett must have noticed my excitement as he opens the door – with a huge grin on his face – and shakes the keys at me.
"You coming in?" he asks. I look behind the chair and notice that Leah is sitting in her seat, her small hands on the windows and her face squished against the screen. I can only see the back of her head.
"Leah, do you want to go in and see our new home?"
She nods her head and I notice that she's running her tongue up and down the window. I want to tell her to stop, watching in disgust as Emmett moves to the window and starts running his tongue on the outside of the window, copying what Leah's doing.
I finally get too grossed out and get out of the car, walking around to where Emmett is still bent at the window.
"You two are gross." I steal the keys from his giant hands and make my way to the front door.
When I walk into the hall, I stop. The hall is wide, light and very bright. The walls are painted in a creamy beige color that blends with the light oak pine doors. There are two doors in front of me and when I turn around there is one extra door in the far corner and a set of stairs next to the door. Wow is the word that echoes in my mind.
"Are you going to look around or just stand there with your mouth open?" Emmett appears with Leah wriggling in his arms.
"Wow, Emmett it looks amazing! I don't remember this house being here before."
"They knocked down the old houses here a couple of years ago and built new ones." He puts Leah down and she runs straight through the door in front. I follow her while still listening to Emmett. "Most people who live here don't want to leave the houses they already have and the rest just can't afford it, so it was easy to buy."
I walk through the living room which is big and cozy but not as big as I thought it would be, the walls are the same color as the hall and I can envision the stuff that I have in this room. My eyes zoom in to two sets of bookcases that are built between the main window and the fireplace. This house is perfect for us. I never imagined it to be anything like this.
"This is a new house." I still can't believe it, there is no way that I can own a brand new house.
"Yep, like I said a it was easy, I managed to get it for less than what you gave me, so you have plenty of money left over to decorate it and make it the best home ever for Leah and yourself." I just nod, trying to take all the information in.
He leaves and takes Leah outside, talking about where he wants to put the princess castle he is buying for her. I continue walking through the rooms in the house, deciding not to even attempt to stop Emmett from buying her that castle; he'll just do it anyway.
The kitchen is breathtaking, it's long and splits into two areas, one area was a dining area at the far end of the room and the main kitchen at the top end. I fall in love with it straight away, with the dark cherry oak cupboard and marble counters. There's even a little island in the middle of the room, so that I can still watch the dining area while I cook.
I move from room and room imaging us living in this house. I have a good feeling about this house and I believe once again that I'm making the right decision. Once I make it back to the living room, I notice Emmett measuring the blank wall across from the fireplace.
"What are you doing" I asked him.
"Measuring for your TV Bella, every house needs a wide screen honey, Leah will love it."
"You mean you want a wide screen so you can watch the sports whenever you're here," I giggle, knowing how his mind works.
"Well I will be here a lot Bells," I just nod my head at him.
"How much was the house Em?"
"Sixty percent less than what you gave me."
"Sixty percent? Emmett how did you manage that?" I ask, but he continues measuring my wall, ignoring my question. I know there's something he is keeping from me, but I keep quiet and decided to ask again later.
I decide to go and see the back garden knowing that's where Leah is.
The rain had stopped but it's still dark and cloudy outside. The air is fresh with a damp chilly wind blowing around. I stop at the door and look around the garden. I find myself really excited about my future and our new lives here. I feel like I have something to look forward to; something major is going to happen soon. I don't know what it is but I know that it is something that will change my life forever.
I look at Leah sitting on the grass. She's looking through the small wooden fence, nodding her head at something. I walk closer to her and spot a little boy on the opposite side of the fence. He's also sitting on the grass with his feet tucked under his legs, mirroring Leah's position.
"Hey, who's your new friend pumpkin?" I ask Leah as I look at the little boy. He's the cutest little boy I have ever seen with his unique copper hair sticking up on his head. When he looks up, I find the biggest green sparking eyes staring back at me.
"Hello." I smile at him, watching his eyes dance with excitement.
"Hi, I'm Anthony." he replies in a sweet polite voice. He stands up, wipes his hands on his dark jeans and offers his small hand to me.
"Hi, Anthony, I'm Bella." I'm in awe at the manners that he has; I shake his hand through the gap in the fence.
"Are you Leah's mommy?" he asks.
"Yes I am, do you live here?"
I look at Leah and she's smiling at me and for the first time in six months I see her eyes sparkling with excitement. I look back at the little boy and his eyes match my daughter's.
"Yep, I have a pirates ship, look?" he points to wooden ship that was in his garden.
"Can Leah play in with me?" he smiles a wide crooked smile at me and my heart melts. I want to grab him, take him with us and pass him off as one of my own. Instead I smile at him and look again at my daughter. She stands up beside me and starts jumping up and down nodding her head, telling me she wants to play with the boy. I notice that her trousers are wet from sitting on the grass and I'm thankful that I have a spare pair in the car. Anthony starts copying Leah and soon they're both jumping up and down, with their hands in the air doing a fancy little dance. I giggle at them; they are too cute for words.
I'm just about to answer Anthony's question when a female's voice calls him. He suddenly stops jumping the same time as Leah and starts running towards the door leading into his house, but stops half way.
"Nice to meet you Bella." He smiled my new favorite smile. "See you tomorrow Leah." he gives us a wave and runs inside the house next door.
I sigh and stare at the now empty garden. "Let's go to Grandpa's now honey, you hunger?" I ask. Leah just nods and runs to the back door.
I slowly follow her back through the house towards Emmett's car; my thoughts are filled with the copper haired little boy and the sparkle in his eyes. How the excitement in his eyes matched Leah's …
How did he know Leah's name? He's too young to read lips.
Then I remember that Emmett mentioned that he works with the neighbor next door. Maybe he had mentioned us to him. I will have to ask him later.
I buckle my seat belt while Emmett buckled Leah up, and look back at my new house.
We're going to okay. I made the right decision. I know in my heart that not only is my daughter going to be happy here, but I am too. I can't stop the wide smile that appears on my face.
"Ready Bells?"
"Absolutely."
Thursday 14 October 2010
Friday 4 June 2010
chapter one
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Bella's home
front house
the hall
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the kitchen Monday 10 May 2010
prolong
My heart was beating unbelievable fast that I was scared everyone in the fucking building can hear it. I have been involved with robberies before, but I’ve always been on the other side. I’m usually calm and in control of my actions, I follow my orders and complete the task that I was given. My heart would always fill with pride when I get everyone out of the building safe and alive, while the chief locks up the bad guys. I really love my job, but right now, all my skills and training are fucking useless and their was panic feeling that was sitting in the pit of my stomach crawling it’s way up the surface.
I’m sitting on the cold god damn marble floor of a small bank in forks with my head in my fucking hands praying that I get out of here safe and alive… and I better get out soon.
I need to get back to my kids and the love of life.
I can feel my eyes fill when I think that I may not see my family again, I finally have everything I’ve ever dreamed off and that tall blond haired son of bitch - that is pacing in front of me - can take everything away any fucking minute.
I thought about my son and how he has been my rock for the last three years, he captured my heart the moment he was born with his big green eyes and crooked smile. It still amazes me how much he looks like me, my mums loves that Anthony is a mini me, she never liked his mother. He is my pride and joy, he saved from the man whore playboy that I used to be and I couldn’t have been more grateful for that.
Than I thought about my little princess and how she melts my heart every time I see or think about her. She has been making so much process since I met her, I couldn’t help but falling in love with her warm heart, her shy gentle smile and how I crave the need to protect her from all the bad in the world. She was my princess, my little girl …
I felt the tears fall on my hands, I am never ashamed of crying but I don’t usual do it in front of anyone but my mom and the love of light. God my heart ached when I thought of my girl, I could not lose her, I just found her. She is the only women who has ever completed me, all of me, heart, body and soul.
I long to have her in my arms and tell her how much I love her, make love to her, cherish her every minute I spend with her. She had healed me, she has opened up my heart and sealed it with love and passion that I never knew existed, she is my angel who was send to rescue me and my son, she showed us what happiness and love really was, and for the first time, my life was complete, my family was complete. I could not leave my family… I will not leave my family.
I was pulled away from my thought when I heard that bastard start shouting at a women who was sat across from me.
“Shut up” he yelled at her “ I told you not to speak.”
The young women pulled her son closer to her and cried into his hair. At that moment I was thankful that my family was not with me, at least I knew they were safe outside in the car.
“ No-one talk or I will start shooting” he yelled turning in a circle waving his fucking gun at everyone. I closed my eyes and continued to think of my life that was only a few feet away .
***
A couple of hours had passed and I was still sitting on the floor, I had been thinking of all the things that I want to do with my family when I get out of here when I realised that the robber had been very quiet, maybe if I can get him to talk to me, explain his reasons for his action I can convince him to let us go. Explain my job and position in the town, I can maybe make a deal with him. I was thinking of different ways to approach him with my decision when I hear the women scream. Without thinking I was on my feet and rushing towards the where I heard the screaming come from.
“Get off her, let her fucking go you bastard” I yelled at him
I pulled his arm away from the small women that he had pinned on the one of the desk. I looked at the women and could see the fear and relief in her eyes. Her back was on the top of the desk and her legs dangling from the side, her body was shaking and tears were silently running down her face.
I felt my hand clutch into a fist as he stared at me with his dull dark dirty gray eyes, his chest was moving up and down from the his fast heavy breathing. His mouth was in a straight line, he glared at me with anger and rage. I’m sure I looked the same as him as I can feel the anger building inside me.
“ I warned you” he spit in my face, he was standing in front of me, face to face, his nostrils flared. I just wanted to go home and this fucking prick was really pissing me off.
“ I. don’t. care.” I said every word slowly and harshly.
“Leave her alone and let us fucking go” I had had enough, I had just lost 4 hours of my life that I was not getting back, and he wasn’t getting any more. I was going home right now.
He laughed in my face.
“ Make me” he challenged and to prove his point, he grabbed the women again by the hair. She yelled with the pain and the next thing I knew my hand moulted into a fist and made connected with his face, I had no control over my actions as the anger had taken over me.
He took a couple of seconds to realise what happened, then he let go of the girl and lunched at me, knocking both of us on the floor. There were punches and kicks being thrown in every direction as we rolled around on the floor, I tried to block out the screams in the background as we continued to roll around like a couple of 5 years olds.
The robber brought his hand up and punched me in the eye with the back of the gun. The next thing I knew he was on top of me fucking punching my face with his fist, I brought my right knee up and kicked the fucker in the side to get him off me, causing him to drop his gun on the floor. I had about 30 seconds to grab the gun and end this nightmare, but the robber must have noticed my plan and we both jumped towards it at the same time.
With both of our hands on the guns, I tired to kick, punch, bite him, I even pulled the fuckers greasy blond like a girl would trying to get him to drop the gun. However he was stronger than I would have guessed and he was attacking me with just as much force as I was. He grabbed the side of my face, pulled my head off the floor and then banged it against the marble ground. I could feel a sharp pain ripped through my whole body. I tried to focus on where the gun was and not the pain in my head.
“Fucking let go” he yelled at me, I growled in response, I was not letting go, my life depended on it.
He looked at me while he grabbed my hair again, I knew he was about to bang my head against the marble again so I quickly pulled my head back and smashed it against his head with as much force as I could. We both groaned in pain from the impact our head created while our hands still fumbled around the gun.
“I’m going to fucking kill you for that” he snickered, I lunged forward at his body while trying to pull the gun from his hand, hoping I could distract him enough to steal the gun. I could feel it slipping from his hand so I pulled closer to me , any second and all this would end. He pulled the gun in the opposite directions and we continued to roll around on the floor. I don’t know how but I managed to pin him underneath me, my knees had his thighs pinned to the ground but both of our hand were still pulling at the gun back and fourth between us.
I suddenly froze and my eyes grew wide as I heard the gun fire.
I looked into the robbers face and his were as wide as mine staring straight into mine. I didn’t have time to think of what just happened. I could hear the screams that surrounded me, my body suddenly grew heavy and I swayed a little.
I jumped when the gun fired again.
The screams grew louder and my body grew heavier, I could not longer feel my legs and I felt like my arms were about to fall off, so I swayed my body to the side until I fell on the floor. I couldn’t move anymore, there was a sharp pain in my head and a burning pain going inside of me. I looked over my shoulder trying to see if the robber was still there but everything was blurry and I couldn’t focus on anything.
So I though about my amazing family and how much I loved them, I prayed that they would be safe, I prayed that they could forgive me, I prayed that I could see them right now, hear their voices, I prayed for my life, all I could do was pray and I did.
I continued to pray as the blackness took over me.
I’m sitting on the cold god damn marble floor of a small bank in forks with my head in my fucking hands praying that I get out of here safe and alive… and I better get out soon.
I need to get back to my kids and the love of life.
I can feel my eyes fill when I think that I may not see my family again, I finally have everything I’ve ever dreamed off and that tall blond haired son of bitch - that is pacing in front of me - can take everything away any fucking minute.
I thought about my son and how he has been my rock for the last three years, he captured my heart the moment he was born with his big green eyes and crooked smile. It still amazes me how much he looks like me, my mums loves that Anthony is a mini me, she never liked his mother. He is my pride and joy, he saved from the man whore playboy that I used to be and I couldn’t have been more grateful for that.
Than I thought about my little princess and how she melts my heart every time I see or think about her. She has been making so much process since I met her, I couldn’t help but falling in love with her warm heart, her shy gentle smile and how I crave the need to protect her from all the bad in the world. She was my princess, my little girl …
I felt the tears fall on my hands, I am never ashamed of crying but I don’t usual do it in front of anyone but my mom and the love of light. God my heart ached when I thought of my girl, I could not lose her, I just found her. She is the only women who has ever completed me, all of me, heart, body and soul.
I long to have her in my arms and tell her how much I love her, make love to her, cherish her every minute I spend with her. She had healed me, she has opened up my heart and sealed it with love and passion that I never knew existed, she is my angel who was send to rescue me and my son, she showed us what happiness and love really was, and for the first time, my life was complete, my family was complete. I could not leave my family… I will not leave my family.
I was pulled away from my thought when I heard that bastard start shouting at a women who was sat across from me.
“Shut up” he yelled at her “ I told you not to speak.”
The young women pulled her son closer to her and cried into his hair. At that moment I was thankful that my family was not with me, at least I knew they were safe outside in the car.
“ No-one talk or I will start shooting” he yelled turning in a circle waving his fucking gun at everyone. I closed my eyes and continued to think of my life that was only a few feet away .
***
A couple of hours had passed and I was still sitting on the floor, I had been thinking of all the things that I want to do with my family when I get out of here when I realised that the robber had been very quiet, maybe if I can get him to talk to me, explain his reasons for his action I can convince him to let us go. Explain my job and position in the town, I can maybe make a deal with him. I was thinking of different ways to approach him with my decision when I hear the women scream. Without thinking I was on my feet and rushing towards the where I heard the screaming come from.
“Get off her, let her fucking go you bastard” I yelled at him
I pulled his arm away from the small women that he had pinned on the one of the desk. I looked at the women and could see the fear and relief in her eyes. Her back was on the top of the desk and her legs dangling from the side, her body was shaking and tears were silently running down her face.
I felt my hand clutch into a fist as he stared at me with his dull dark dirty gray eyes, his chest was moving up and down from the his fast heavy breathing. His mouth was in a straight line, he glared at me with anger and rage. I’m sure I looked the same as him as I can feel the anger building inside me.
“ I warned you” he spit in my face, he was standing in front of me, face to face, his nostrils flared. I just wanted to go home and this fucking prick was really pissing me off.
“ I. don’t. care.” I said every word slowly and harshly.
“Leave her alone and let us fucking go” I had had enough, I had just lost 4 hours of my life that I was not getting back, and he wasn’t getting any more. I was going home right now.
He laughed in my face.
“ Make me” he challenged and to prove his point, he grabbed the women again by the hair. She yelled with the pain and the next thing I knew my hand moulted into a fist and made connected with his face, I had no control over my actions as the anger had taken over me.
He took a couple of seconds to realise what happened, then he let go of the girl and lunched at me, knocking both of us on the floor. There were punches and kicks being thrown in every direction as we rolled around on the floor, I tried to block out the screams in the background as we continued to roll around like a couple of 5 years olds.
The robber brought his hand up and punched me in the eye with the back of the gun. The next thing I knew he was on top of me fucking punching my face with his fist, I brought my right knee up and kicked the fucker in the side to get him off me, causing him to drop his gun on the floor. I had about 30 seconds to grab the gun and end this nightmare, but the robber must have noticed my plan and we both jumped towards it at the same time.
With both of our hands on the guns, I tired to kick, punch, bite him, I even pulled the fuckers greasy blond like a girl would trying to get him to drop the gun. However he was stronger than I would have guessed and he was attacking me with just as much force as I was. He grabbed the side of my face, pulled my head off the floor and then banged it against the marble ground. I could feel a sharp pain ripped through my whole body. I tried to focus on where the gun was and not the pain in my head.
“Fucking let go” he yelled at me, I growled in response, I was not letting go, my life depended on it.
He looked at me while he grabbed my hair again, I knew he was about to bang my head against the marble again so I quickly pulled my head back and smashed it against his head with as much force as I could. We both groaned in pain from the impact our head created while our hands still fumbled around the gun.
“I’m going to fucking kill you for that” he snickered, I lunged forward at his body while trying to pull the gun from his hand, hoping I could distract him enough to steal the gun. I could feel it slipping from his hand so I pulled closer to me , any second and all this would end. He pulled the gun in the opposite directions and we continued to roll around on the floor. I don’t know how but I managed to pin him underneath me, my knees had his thighs pinned to the ground but both of our hand were still pulling at the gun back and fourth between us.
I suddenly froze and my eyes grew wide as I heard the gun fire.
I looked into the robbers face and his were as wide as mine staring straight into mine. I didn’t have time to think of what just happened. I could hear the screams that surrounded me, my body suddenly grew heavy and I swayed a little.
I jumped when the gun fired again.
The screams grew louder and my body grew heavier, I could not longer feel my legs and I felt like my arms were about to fall off, so I swayed my body to the side until I fell on the floor. I couldn’t move anymore, there was a sharp pain in my head and a burning pain going inside of me. I looked over my shoulder trying to see if the robber was still there but everything was blurry and I couldn’t focus on anything.
So I though about my amazing family and how much I loved them, I prayed that they would be safe, I prayed that they could forgive me, I prayed that I could see them right now, hear their voices, I prayed for my life, all I could do was pray and I did.
I continued to pray as the blackness took over me.
Sunday 9 May 2010
Monday 3 May 2010
speak teaser 2 unbeat
“ Come on squirt, bedtime” I pulled Anthony up from the living room floor into my arms and made my way to the bathroom. His giggles filled the house as he wriggled around in my arms. This was one of my favourite time of the day, I made sure that I bathed Anthony and read him his book before he went to sleep every night.
“Daddy, do you think I could get to play with Leah tomorrow” I turned on the taps to fill the bath up
“ I don’t know, we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow and see what happens” I started to take his clothes off while he mumbles about how he can’t wait and that how he hoped it was sunny so they can play in his pirates ship. When he finally climbed into the bath he looked at me, his green eyes started to glaze over with water as tears filled them.
“What’s wrong Ant” I asked with concern “ is the water too hot” I stared at his small face.
“ Ant ,tell me what’s wrong buddy”
“Do you think Leah will like? Do you think she will want to play with me and my pirate ship” I felt my heart ache at that second as my son was worried that the new girl wouldn’t like him. He had always been very confident and a sociable boy. I never thought he would question if someone wanted to play with him but than again I have never seen him so attached to someone he just meet.
“I think she would love to play with you buddy” I smiled at him.
“Really.”
“Really, “ I answered him back, he smiled my crooked smile at me and his insecurities faded as quickly as they appeared and the sparkly was back in his beautiful eyes.
“Daddy, do you think I could get to play with Leah tomorrow” I turned on the taps to fill the bath up
“ I don’t know, we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow and see what happens” I started to take his clothes off while he mumbles about how he can’t wait and that how he hoped it was sunny so they can play in his pirates ship. When he finally climbed into the bath he looked at me, his green eyes started to glaze over with water as tears filled them.
“What’s wrong Ant” I asked with concern “ is the water too hot” I stared at his small face.
“ Ant ,tell me what’s wrong buddy”
“Do you think Leah will like? Do you think she will want to play with me and my pirate ship” I felt my heart ache at that second as my son was worried that the new girl wouldn’t like him. He had always been very confident and a sociable boy. I never thought he would question if someone wanted to play with him but than again I have never seen him so attached to someone he just meet.
“I think she would love to play with you buddy” I smiled at him.
“Really.”
“Really, “ I answered him back, he smiled my crooked smile at me and his insecurities faded as quickly as they appeared and the sparkly was back in his beautiful eyes.
Thursday 29 April 2010
Wednesday 28 April 2010
teaser
I have just finished my exams at university and now have the time to spend on my stories. Speak is a lot
lighter than please remember me, it focuses on family and love and how the strength that a family can give
each other. It will be told in Edward and Bella’s point of view, I have a beta and a few chapters already
done so I will not be long until the chapters are up.
Here is a teaser for speak prolong unbeta.
The robber brought his hand up and punched me in the eye with the back of the gun that he had pulled from
his back jean pocket. The next thing I knew he was on top of me fucking punching my face with his fist, I
brought my right knee up and kicked the fucker in the side to get him off me causing him to drop his gun on
the floor. I had about 30 seconds to grab the gun and end this nightmare, but the robber must have noticed
my plan and we both jumped towards it at the same time.
lighter than please remember me, it focuses on family and love and how the strength that a family can give
each other. It will be told in Edward and Bella’s point of view, I have a beta and a few chapters already
done so I will not be long until the chapters are up.
Here is a teaser for speak prolong unbeta.
The robber brought his hand up and punched me in the eye with the back of the gun that he had pulled from
his back jean pocket. The next thing I knew he was on top of me fucking punching my face with his fist, I
brought my right knee up and kicked the fucker in the side to get him off me causing him to drop his gun on
the floor. I had about 30 seconds to grab the gun and end this nightmare, but the robber must have noticed
my plan and we both jumped towards it at the same time.
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